This post is courtesy of guest blogger: Sonya Shearer.
Let me get real for a moment. I moved from out of state, and I panicked. Not a little nervous. Not a little jitter. Full-on “what-have-I-done” kind of panic. I didn’t know anyone. I had no professional network. When I started researching the job market in my new area, it felt like someone had handed me an entirely new rulebook and forgotten to include the glossary. What the heck?
What worked in my old city, my connections, my reputation, and even the way I structured my resume, suddenly didn’t land the same way in my new city. The job titles were different, the expectations were different, and let’s be honest, the vibe was different. I found myself questioning everything.
- Did I literally plop down on a different planet?
- Was I still relevant? Did my experience still matter?
Then came the moment that really made me pause.
I applied for a role that was well within my scope. It looked fun and adventurous. “Hey, that’s me!” I wasn’t chasing the title. I was looking to contribute, build new relationships, and be part of something new and innovative. But after the interview, the hiring manager gave me feedback I didn’t expect:
“You’d be bored here. Things are slower in this area – you might not feel challenged.”
Khaablam! It hit me hard (imagine Marisa Tomei smacking her forehead in the movie My Cousin Vinny). I wasn’t turned down because I lacked skills; I was turned down because I had too many. That one line, “things are slower here”, echoed in my head for days.
I wanted to shout, “Let me decide what challenges me! Let me show you how I adapt, how I build, how I support teams in any environment!” Instead, I took a step back and reflected. I realized this was another reminder that relocating isn’t just about changing zip codes. It’s about changing perceptions, both theirs and mine.
It also reminded me to be intentional in how I present myself. To explain why I’m applying. To reassure hiring managers that I’m here because I want to be part of this community, to help, to grow – not because I’m simply passing through.
So, if you’re facing rejection not because you’re unqualified, but because someone thinks you’re “too much”?
Don’t shrink. Just recalibrate.
Your experience is not a liability, it’s a strength. But sometimes, you have to help others see it from the right angle.
Let me tell you, if you’re in that same spot right now, if you’ve relocated, restarted, or completely overhauled your life in some way – you’re not behind. You’re just building again.
Find the Right People, Not Just the Right Job
Here’s another truth that helped me keep going: success doesn’t happen in a vacuum. You need people – the right people.
People who believe in you.
People who will cheer you on.
And (maybe most importantly) people who will tell you the truth.
Because here’s the thing: we don’t just want someone to agree with us; we want honesty.
You need someone who cares enough to say:
- “Hey, your profile picture doesn’t really look like the confident, capable person I know you to be.”
- “This resume isn’t doing you justice. Let’s fix that.”
That kind of feedback can sting, especially when you’re already feeling vulnerable. But it’s not meant to hurt, it’s meant to help you grow.
The right people will reflect your value back to you even when you can’t quite see it yourself. Whether it’s a career coach, a sharp-eyed colleague, or a friend who’s not afraid to tell it like it is – those voices matter.
Let them guide you. Let them sharpen the edges and help you stand out.
I called my friend Anne and asked for her perspective on “this slower world called the Midwest”. She giggled and said, “Yep, much slower than the west coast. Here’s what you do …”
The clouds opened! The angels weeped! Okay, I get it now!
Connection matters. Sometimes the right opportunity doesn’t show up on a job listing, but it shows up in a conversation. So don’t just network to get something; connect to build something.
Ask for input. Listen to the people who care enough to be real with you. And remember, you’re not in this alone. Asking for help is the best first step!
Give Yourself Some Grace and Affirmation
This is hard work. It’s emotional work. So be kind to yourself.
You are doing enough. You are trying. And that matters.
Say it again:
“I am hireable. I am needed. I am growing – even now.”
Keep your head up when the interviews don’t come.
Keep your heart open when it feels like no one sees your worth.
Take breaks. Get some sunlight. And yes, do the big ugly cry (like Steel Magnolias ugly cry) if you need to.
And then – pull yourself back up by your bootstraps and dust off. Apply again. Reach out again.
Believe in yourself again.
Every single “no” gets you closer to a “yes.”
Every update to your resume sharpens your story.
Every new connection opens another door.
Your dream job? It’s looking for someone just like you.
Don’t let discouragement be louder than your faith in yourself.
You’ve got this. You really do.
Your next opportunity is not the end of your story. It’s the next chapter.
And to that hiring manager who told me I would be bored?
We crossed paths a few years later, and he said,
“I should have hired you. We would have gotten things done quicker.”
My response?
“How can I help you?”
Bio: Sonya Shearer is a 20-year veteran municipal educator, leadership coach, and training facilitator. She blends real-world expertise with a passion for empowering professionals through practical, people-centered training. Now based in Texas, Sonya continues to support communities and professionals through classes, coaching, and compassionate storytelling.
